jelliebeers

Day 1 & 2
I have a relatively fat ass but it’s on a small frame. I had a moment the other day where I thought about my ass and thighs. As I squeezed and jiggled my hams and wondered what percentage of my body was, my legs. I wondered how many more years I could wear shorts before the cellulite takes over. My future had been genetically decided.

Today is the day that I chose to start collecting materials to make my tutu out of. One of the places I visited was American Apparel because I knew I’d find a leotard there. (The leotard is the base of the costume.)

I picked out a white body suit in XS, S and M. The XS was very small and it split my butt checks into two so I had my butt and a mini but below it. Surely this didn’t work. The S had the same issue but it wasn’t very noticeable. This part of the costume would be draped in tulle anyway. The material was very sheer and my belly button and nipples were very obvious. I tried on some other sale items but mostly felt like a slutty sausage.

When I walked out of the dressing room, the attendant asked me how everything worked out. “Not so good.” The attendant said nothing. Maybe he was rude to me because of my disheveled appearance.

 (This is me in the fitting room.)

I had acne scarring with no makeup, a ridiculous striped tank top stained with red stuff (gochujang – Korean life blood) that shifted without warning exposing varying levels of “side boob” and ill fitting short shorts with my unflattering “period underwear” peeking out of the top. My hair was unwashed and pulled up into a sloppy, high pony tail that was giving me a headache. Electively unthreaded brows.  (My nails looked great tho.)

I also had an overstuffed black backpack that was setting off the theft detector in the front of every store I went into that day. I got questioned at forever 21, the craft store and Kmart. The security guards swung was bags through the detectors and let me go. What was that supposed to prove? My backpack could have been filled to the brim with stolen goods. But I’ve learned my lesson after being banned from Duane read for the next 7 years or so. I felt like I was being discriminated against because I looked so unkempt. Just because I looked shitty didn’t mean I was a thief. Everyone is entitled to look like dog shit once and awhile.

I decided the $25 price tag was much more than I was willing to spend. Odds are it will get ruined and even if I didn’t it wasn’t a particularly wearable article of clothing. (I never wear white anyway). I figure I’ll be successful sewing together a pair of high waisted bloomers and a tank top. A two piece suit lends itself to some interesting choreography. The tank top was $1.90.

Since I plan to add to this project up until the show (October 9 or 10) perhaps I need to start a designated place to post this sort of thing…