jelliebeers

Photo Geraldo Mercado Video Angela Freiberger

I made an awkward speech about being nervous about my upcoming “dance recital”.  Talked about Titanic, not finding Leonard DiCaprio particularly attractive in the film and some other babble.

I had the celtic inspired intro repeat 4 times.  I paced back and forth pensively.  “Do you like my leotard?…  I made it…”

When I knew the song was about to start, I stood facing the corner of the room.  I took a 15 ft mic cable and made a gag out of it.  

When I started to sing, I was on the quieter side.  I was nervous that I didn’t have my levels right.  My eyes were closed really tightly.  This was the first time I was singing in front of anyone (even though it was muffled and semi-audible). 

Before I knew it, I was on my knees gripping my chest:

“Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and onnnnnnn”

I play the air drums and start sweating.

“Here’s the best part.”:

“You’re here, there’s nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We’ll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and onnnnnnnnn”

“It’s not over yet.”

“MMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm—–”

I pressed my forehead on the ground and held the long note taking a short breath (because I’m not a Canadian popstar) and end gently.

“—mmmmmmm”

DROP THE MIC (I had purchased my own microphone so I could do this without worrying about ruining someone else’s equipment).  – EXIT SPACE

I can’t remember much of what happened.  I think people laughed and clapped but I don’t remember.  I had my eyes closed for most of the song.  I felt good, relieved.  I had conquered (sort-of) a huge fear or mine. My bright pink lipstick smeared a bit forming faint pink lines on my cheeks.  There was a bit of drool on the top of my right boob.  

When I think back on it, I don’t even remember the audience’s reaction.  It’s a strange feeling to walk away from a performance without being covered in meat juices and needing an immediate shower.