The corner of the door
Last night I woke up around 5 AM to go to the bathroom.
I had only been asleep for a couple of hours. Read the rest of this entry »
jelliebeers
hey, bay beh
Category: writing
December 11, 2016
May 26, 2016
Harry & Juliet
(1986) Re: Tapes
You could probably use the tapes and not listen to them. Pull out the tape… make a dress out of it… pull tapes and dance… wrap them around picture…. etc.
The tapes might be too terrible to listen to. Destroy them as art.
xoxo, G
February 5, 2016
02/05
Chicken nugget earnings / Chicken nugget eye patch / Chicken nugget necklace / Caul fat veil
January 26, 2016
Songs for sad girls
NON GRATA’s DIVERSE UNIVERSE NYC ’15 presented by WILD TORUS – Gowanus Ballroom – December 12, 2015
Read the rest of this entry »
January 23, 2016
The lost, nearly dead adventurer
I love the snow.
When I was little, I would play a morbid game were I would pretend that I was a traveler on an expedition in Antarctica or Alaska…. Or whatever.
I would go into the backyard and trudge through the pristine, dense, knee high snow. My steps were exaggerated as I faked an epic struggle. I would grunt and breath deeply and pretend that I could no longer go on.
All my supplies where gone and rest of my troupe… Dead. I had failed. It had been days since I’d had my last meal. Read the rest of this entry »
October 22, 2015
Afterwards – Part I
(I practiced singing and dancing as I untangled my hair. This is me in 1993.)
How Do you feel?
I’m not good at finishing things. I still haven’t watched the last episode of HBO’s True Blood, which ended last year. I was waiting for “the right moment” to watch the finale, but it never came. I just never wanted the show to end.
Now it’s time for me to close out my birthday performance (which was 2 weeks ago). Right after my performance, my friend Hilary asked me,“How do you feel?”
I answered automatically, “I’m glad it’s over.”
I thought about what I just said and I took it back immediately, “Wait… actually I’m not glad that it’s over.’
“I like that.” Read the rest of this entry »
October 5, 2015
The Greatest Love of All – 1985
My dance / song recital is creeping up on me. I am finalizing all of the music and memorizing lyrics and dance moves. My leotard arrives tomorrow and I am praying that it will fit. The most challenging measurement to obtain is the “girth”.
When thinking of a song for my big recital, for some reason Whitney Houston kept coming to mind. Of course there is the 1992 mega hit, “I Will Always Love You” – 1992 but there is also, “The Greatest Love of All”. I remember singing (well, shyly mouthing the words) this song in elementary school for one of those ridiculous student recitals. It was for my 6th grade graduation. It was the kind of performance where you stand on risers under extremely hot lights. Every year someone was guaranteed to faint causing a hilarious domino effect of small children. I recently learned that this often happens because people lock their knees for an extended period of time. Read the rest of this entry »
October 2, 2015
Love Story
I had written the most epic love story of all time.
I was on the Williamsburg bridge, listening to my Walkman and riding my bike. An interview came on the public access station . The person I wrote my story about was reviewing it. I didn’t think anyone had read it but THEY did. I had waited forever for this. Read the rest of this entry »
September 25, 2015
May 22, 1993
“I look confused”
“No you don’t” Read the rest of this entry »
September 21, 2015
My Heart Will Go On – Part 1
Last week, I was sick and confined to my parents couch so I watched a bunch of movies on HBO. Mostly partial movies and most of them tear jerkers. In one sitting, I watched most of Pearl Harbor (because Josh Hartnett is in it), The Fault In Our Stars and the second half of Titanic. I think I started watching when the ship started to sinking. I cried the most watching The Fault In Our Stars. It wasn’t a good film but I blame the crying partly on PMS. Read the rest of this entry »
September 13, 2015
Titanic and Celine Dion
Last night I watched the second half of Titanic, the last 3\4 of the fault in our stars, the last 3\4 of Pearl Harbor and most of of this rediculous Australian movie about a single women not marrying “the love of her life” and being transported to a life as if she had been married to that guy for the past 13 years. She had a wipe a blonde kids ass numerous times in the film.
Oh yeah, I also watched the wedding singer the day before.
September 10, 2015
I’ve killed hundreds
Every square inch of my parents ceiling was covered with an even grid of pantry moths. They are the color of soot and when I kill them, they leave a smear that looks like a shadow.
Grandma had started to act strangely and spent all her time standing on the counter top. There is a hole in the wall above of the cabinets where the infestation had started. She would perch her face up against the opening and stare into the darkness. She was wearing khaki pants, an oversized cranberry colored wool cardigan and a pair of latex gloves.
After days of this behavior, suddenly, grandma fell off the counter top. When I reached her side, her body was replaced with a single latex glove. The fingers had been cut from the palm and were laid out in order from index finger to thumb.
I looked down and I was wearing the jewel toned cardigan. It was thick and completely covered by tiny brown bugs. The sweater is so infested that the insects have fused to the cotton. I could hear their exoskeletons clashing and mandibles nibbling my flesh. I ripped off the sweater and had a powder blue T-shirt underneath. A few bugs clung to the cotton and I desperately tried to brush them off.
August 27, 2015
Dance practice
Day 1 & 2
I have a relatively fat ass but it’s on a small frame. I had a moment the other day where I thought about my ass and thighs. As I squeezed and jiggled my hams and wondered what percentage of my body was, my legs. I wondered how many more years I could wear shorts before the cellulite takes over. My future had been genetically decided.
Today is the day that I chose to start collecting materials to make my tutu out of. One of the places I visited was American Apparel because I knew I’d find a leotard there. (The leotard is the base of the costume.)
August 20, 2015
Pizza
It is night time and I’m at my parent’s house.
I ask my mom to take me to get pizza.
We get into our white van and she gets behind the wheel.
I notice that she is driving erratically.
She is driving on the sidewalk and over people’s lawns.
Small children are illuminated by her headlights.
They are frozen with terror as my mother speeds straights towards them. Read the rest of this entry »
jelliebeers 